Reflections on the Pandemic | Fellow Brendan Berkel, '20
This virus pandemic sucks. A lot. I (nor has my fam) haven’t been directly affected by the virus, but it pains me to see the world getting damaged by it. Due to a lack of ventilators and other resources, many doctors in Italy, if they have survived the virus, eventually decide who gets to live or not (depending on age, status, etc…) which isn’t fair. Many people within our very country will probably be infected, and may even die, without any access to reasonable healthcare. The list goes on and on.
For the past few weeks, the greater Christian community has been discussing Lament, and what it looks like practically to lament during this time. But I, personally, have experienced more anger than sadness. At the root of it, I guess I am angry at the fact that I never really had control of anything to begin with. But I am upset at the fact that many things people have been working on will seem to never come to fruition. Maybe you were lifting and working out in preparation for warm weather days on the beach, which might not happen this year. Maybe you were grinding the first 3 years of college, and now you don’t get to experience that ‘easy 4th Year spring semester’. Or maybe jobs / internships you once had are no longer secured. Or maybe you have been striving to get your family back on their feet, just to experience unemployment once again. I’ve often found myself checking the corona numbers every other hour of the day, disappointed every time. And I will sometimes even convince myself that this will be over sooner than expected. I guess I am just upset with the way things are right now.
One good thing I have seen come out of quarantine (for me at least) is getting to spend time with family. Next year, 3 of the 4 siblings will be in college, and it is not often that all 6 of us are under the same roof for an extended period of time. My youngest sister will be an ‘only child’ for all of middle and high school, so us spending quarantine time with her will be very formative, I hope. This also seems like a ‘reset’ for a lot of people; I have never seen parks, walkways, and sidewalks more crowded with people walking and exercising. And that is much needed, especially during a time where TV’s and cell phones govern our lives. I understand that some homes are not the same as mine, and some families don’t quite function well when everyone is cooped up in a house for an extended amount of time.
My pastor at home said that the Lord may be using this time to expose us to our sins which we have buried in our busyness. I have had a lot of time to reflect on my life and my past decisions, and it’s sometimes scary to rediscover the things I have said and done. But the Lord does not expose us to shame us or call us out; He is simply reminding us of our need for Him. Even in the midst of my anger over lack of control, He has called me to lean into Him, and trust Him. I think about the future daily, and I love to plan for the weeks and months to come. I also find myself thinking about the past, and the many things I could have done differently. But it is important to recognize that the Lord is calling us to live in THIS moment, NOT to worry about the past (Philippians 3), and NOT to worry about the future (Luke 12).
To conclude, I am thankful for our Lord and Savior. I pray that His will be done, regardless of our suggestions or requests. I pray that we utilize and make use of the bread He gives us day to day. I pray that we, in the midst of this pandemic, continue to forgive wrongdoers, and I pray that we are reminded that Christ continues to forgive us. I pray that He leads us away from the temptations of our previous and current sins, and I pray that He delivers us this pandemic, from this evil product of sin. Ultimately, in all that we do during this time, to God be the glory.